in a chair and chewing gum simultaneously.
-- Richard Schickel
Any fool can paint a picture, but it takes a wise person to be able to sell it.
"Are you police officers?"
"No, ma'am. We're musicians."
-- The Blues Brothers
Around the turn of this century, a composer named Camille Saint-Saens wrote
a satirical zoological-fantasy called "Le Carnaval des Animaux." Aside from
gonna call and it's been two weeks. What's wrong, you lose my number?
High heels are a device invented by a woman who was tired of being kissed
on the forehead.
Him: "Your skin is so soft. Are you a model?"
Her: "No," [blush] "I'm a cosmetologist."
Him: "Really? That's incredible... It must be very tough to handle
weightlessness."
-- "The Jerk"
His designs were strictly honourable, as the phrase is: that is, to rob
a lady of her sebastian by way of marriage.
-- Henry Fielding, "Tom Jones"
"Home, Sweet Home" must surely have been written by a bachelor.
-- Samuel Butler