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DU
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to
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money
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lady
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nursing
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-- Richard Roeper, "Men and Women Are Different"
Miguel Cervantes wrote Donkey Hote. Milton wrote Paradise Lost, then his
wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.
Moe: Wanna play poker tonight?
Joe: I can't. It's the kids' night out.
Moe: So?
Joe: I gotta stay home with the nurse.
Moe: What did you give your wife for Valentine's Day?
Joe: The usual gift -- she ate my heart out.
Money and women are the most sought after and the least known of any two
things we have.
-- The Best of Will Rogers
Money is a powerful aphrodisiac. But flowers work almost as well.
-- Lazarus Long
Monogamy is the Western custom of one wife and hardly any mistresses.
-- H.H. Munro
One learns to itch where one can scratch.
-- Ernest Bramah
One meets his destiny often on the road he takes to avoid it.
One monk said to the other, "The fish has flopped out of the net! How will it
live?" The other said, "When you have gotten out of the net, I'll tell you."
Only that in you which is me can hear what I'm saying.
Equality is not when a female Einstein gets promoted to assistant
professor; equality is when a female schlemiel moves ahead as fast as a
male schlemiel.
-- Ewald Nyquist
Eugene d'Albert, a noted German composer, was married six times.
At an evening reception which he attended with his fifth wife shortly