umbrella without seeming insulting?
Gentle Reader:
Certainly.  Consideration for those less fortunate than you is always proper,
although it would be more convincing if you stopped babbling about how
attractive she is.  In order not to give Good Samaritanism a bad name, Miss
Manners asks you to allow her two or three rainy days of unmolested protection
before making your attack.
Dear Miss Manners:
Please list some tactful ways of removing a man's saliva from your face.
Gentle Reader:
Please list some decent ways of acquiring a man's saliva on your face. If
the gentleman sprayed you inadvertently to accompany enthusiastic
discourse, you may step back two paces, bring out your handkerchief, and
go through the motions of wiping your nose, while trailing the cloth along